[ by Feliks Garcia ]
Amidst the usual Tetris-like organization of dusty boxes and retired furniture, storage units can contain truly strange, fascinating, and even horrifying items. The most noteworthy auction wins of 2012 certainly reveal the dark side of self-storage.
Gone but not forgotten grandmother. What happened to the days when people buried their loved ones in a cemetery? In January, a Florida grandmother’s embalmed corpse was discovered in a storage unit. Her daughter, who passed away before the discovery, had apparently kept the body in storage since 1995.
Disembodied organs, or How NOT To Practice Medicine. Just as controversial, but certainly more grotesque, the winner of one auctioned storage unit was shocked to learn he had become the owner of crudely preserved human organs. The unit contained the organs of over 100 people kept in leaky plastic cups and food containers. They were stored by a former medical examiner, who was fired in 2003 for filing incomplete autopsy reports. The organs are believed to have come from private autopsies performed at local funeral homes. Shudder.
32 pythons. While I’m probably not nearly as adventurous as Indiana Jones, the one thing we have in common is an uncontrollable fear of snakes. As frightening as it is sad, Minnesota detectives discovered 32 ball pythons in a unit intended to be a breeding site for the snakes. Unfortunately, the pythons were dead. The attorney’s office sought to file animal cruelty charges against the tenant. Never keep pets in storage units!
The most metal BBQ. A metal coffin was recently found inside an auctioned storage unit. The mysterious coffin was revealed to be more unusual than your run-of-the-mill casket. It was converted to be a meat smoker, or the final resting place of twenty pounds of brisket. I certainly hope the coffin wasn’t occupied before it became a barbecue. Regardless, my taste buds’ curiosity is piqued. Glenn Danzig was unavailable for comment.
These finds are befitting of a Wes Craven film and go to show the truth is, more often than not, stranger than fiction. What oddities have you come across in an abandoned storage unit? Please share your stories in the comments below.
Feliks Garcia is a Master of TV, Film, Gender, and Muscles Studies from the University of Texas. He is often seen singing jingles to his two cats and feeding the neighborhood ferals.