The Big Boozy Book of SpareFoot Cocktails: Volume 1

By    December 18, 2013

SpareFoot cocktails

In honor of our epic “work hard, play hard” culture and the holiday season, we present The Big Boozy Book of SpareFoot Cocktails: Volume 1. Here you’ll find SpareFoot favorites, staples, mistakes and confections that have triumphed through happy hours, sake bombs and boat parties. Enjoy responsibly, y’all!

The Fireside

Pair with: A hearty side of exceptional customer service with ACE Team member Albert Hood on top

fireball and woodchuck

Image courtesy of bdizzification

1. Fireball Cinnamon Whisky (1 oz.)

2. Woodchuck Hard Cider (1 oz.)

3. Topo Chico (2 oz.)

One thing you’ll learn within your first day at SpareFoot is that we love Fireball Cinnamon Whisky—almost as much as we love champagne.

This beer cocktail comes from our ACE Team who, in addition to being rock stars at helping our customers with storage, possess unparalleled skills in creating sexy concoctions. (The name Fireside is significant at SpareFoot outside of just being a delicious drink—CEO Chuck Gordon holds casual one-on-ones with every employee every six months called “Fireside Chats.”)

According to Storie Cunningham, ACE champ and esteemed mixologist, the Fireside will “ignite the fire inside you.”

The Incredible Hulk

Pair with: An extra pair of pants and someone to take you home

The Hulk

Image courtesy of Digital Trends

Blame this drink on the twisted mind of SpareFoot analytics guru Brett Chauvière, who modestly (and perhaps inaccurately) describes it as a “classic drink.” The ingredients are simple: equal parts Hpnotiq and Hennessy. We’re not fussy about measurements.

“You get the right proportions when it turns Hulk green,” Brett said.

So how did SpareFoot get introduced to this strange brew?

“I heard something about ‘Henny with the purple, mix it in the circle’ from a Mike Posner song,” Brett said. “So I decided to give Hennessy a try. I have a soft spot for superheroes, so when I discovered a recipe named after a tortured antihero that called for Hennessy, I had to try it. It ended up making the Mike Posner song bearable, so I stuck with it until we ran out of Hpnotiq and Hennessy.”

Buyer beware: It’s colossal in both name and consequence. We are in no way responsible for strange behaviors induced after imbibing the Incredible Hulk, which may include feeling strangely overconfident, flushing a green hue, or ripping one’s clothes off and growing deltoids the size of Kanye’s ego.

Evergreen Content

Pair with: A splash of marketing creativity and some white clam pizza

Green Tea Vodka Cocktail

Image courtesy of Abe’s Market

1. Organic Mint and Honey Sweet Leaf Green Tea (2 oz.)

2. Deep Eddy Vodka (1 oz.)

3. Splash of Green Apple Liqueur

From the beautiful mind of our fearless marketing queen Rachel Greenfield comes Evergreen Content, a simple and concise highball that packs a powerful punch. It’s designed with marketers in mind and perfectly SEO-friendly.

Evergreen Content, like its namesake, can be enjoyed at any time during the year. We on the Marketing Team cherish it most during the summer months, when the 100-plus-degree weather makes us want to throw caution to the nonexistent wind and run naked into Austin’s cool Barton Springs.

The Big Unit

Pair with: Five strong men

Big Unit

1. Rum (½ oz.)

2. Gin (½ oz.)

3. Tequila (½ oz.)

4. Vodka (½ oz.)

5. Triple Sec (½ oz.)

6. Orange juice (2 oz.)

7. Lemon juice

Not to be confused with pitcher Randy Johnson, The Big Unit was a crowd favorite during The SpareFoot Storage Facility Party, our first unofficial party that took place during a magical interactive festival week in March 2011. When we say Big Unit, we’re not kidding—think of this drink as a hefty 10×30 storage unit. (That’s enough space for a four-bedroom house.) Good night and good luck.

The Marketing CMS (Cookie Monster Shot)

Pair with: Footie pajamas and your favorite Bill Murray movie

cookie dough

Image courtesy of Bakerella

1. Small chunk of cookie dough

2. Vanilla vodka (1 oz.)

Here’s another concoction from our Marketing Team, this one by way of social media master Matt Stites. He discovered this decadent treat while studying in Costa Rica and hasn’t been wooed by another shot since.

“The cookie dough provides a smooth, sweet chaser to complement the vanilla vodka,” Matt said. “The overall sensation is more like a spoonful of ice cream that gives you an instant, classy buzz.”

Chai Martini

Pair with: Ginger cookies and ginger men

chai martini

Image courtesy of Deer Park Farms

1. Tazo Chai Tea Latte Concentrate (1 oz.)

2. Vanilla soymilk (1 oz.)

3. Deep Eddy Vodka (1 oz.)

4. Ground spices (cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, cloves, etc.)

Ready to get adventurous? According to Rachel Greenfield, this is the perfect dessert drink—or just the perfect drink to match your fancy mood. Break this bad boy out at a holiday party, and your guests will be wondering where you’ve been all their lives. Our version isn’t as heavy or cream-laden as the other chai-tinis you’ve seen out there, but it is potent. Rachel suggests mixing with ice and garnishing with a cinnamon stick to complete the masterpiece.

We tried to come up with a better name for this drink than just “Chai Martini.” Ideas included Chai-ne Bright Like a Chai-mond, Martini McChai, Chai-mander, The Chai-wizard Tournament, I Believe I Can Chai, They’re Mar-Taking the Hobbits to Chai-sengard, Don’t Be Chai, You’ll Never Make It Unless You Chai, 2 Chaiz, Chai Me a River, Pretty Chai for a White Chai, Chai a Little Tenderness, and Chai-ler Perry Presents: Martini’s Big Family Reunion.

In the end, we just went with Chai Martini. You can probably see why.

SpareBreeze

Pair with: A captain’s hat and Justin Beiber’s haircut circa 2011

sparebreeze

Image courtesy of hobnob

1. Deep Eddy Vodka (1½ oz.)

2. Orange juice (1 oz.)

3. Cranberry juice (3 oz.)

4. Splash of grapefruit juice

“If you have to measure it, then it’s not a SpareBreeze,” said SpareBreeze creator Ryan Harmon, a member of our Sales Team.

This drink was born from our first flash happy hour, a smaller, more contained version of regular SpareFoot happy hours. In the rare event that a flash happy hour occurs, SpareFeet must drop everything and engage in happy hour activities for one hour. Participation is mandatory. Flashing is optional. (Our most recent flash happy hour began when we returned from a fake fire drill to the sight of two SpareFeet dressed as firemen dancing on our reception desk.)

The Pink Drink

Pair with: A copy of “Mean Girls” and a velour tracksuit

The Pink Drink

1. Deep Eddy Ruby Red Grapefruit Vodka (2 oz.)

2. Sparkling mineral water (we like LaCroix or Topo Chico) (1 oz.)

Coined by Client Relations lady Emma Nostrand, The Pink Drink is a huge favorite around the office. Is it the simple yet delightful flavor? The supporting-a-local-business boost of confidence from using Deep Eddy? The gorgeous shade of pink that results from mixing the vodka and sparkling mineral water? Probably all of the above. One thing’s for sure, though: You won’t be disappointed by The Pink Drink.

Zombie Water

Pair with: Sunglasses and Advil

Zombie Water

 1. Tequila (1 oz.)

2. Triple Sec (1 oz.)

3. Topo Chico (2 oz.)

4. Lime

Debuted at our holiday party last year, the Zombie Water (named by Chuck Gordon) is an even more laid-back Texas version of the margarita. We have no idea where the attribution “Zombie” came from, but it might have something to do with our haggard faces the morning after the holiday party.

Champagne

Pair with: The greatest people in the world

Chuck Gordon with champagne

Chuck Gordon with a monstrous (and empty) bottle of Veuve Clicquot

OK, so champagne isn’t a cocktail, but it is a SpareFoot staple. It would be remiss to ignore the true love of our lives.

We had a marvelous year, and we’re planning on making 2014 one to (hazily) remember. Tipsy tidings of comfort and joy to you all! Oh, and one last thing:

SPAREFOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!

Unless otherwise noted, photos are by SpareFoot’s own Matt Stites and Jenny Zhang

Jenny is part of the marketing team at SpareFoot. She currently lives in Austin, TX and likes sushi, Faulkner and Asian horror movies.

css.php